How to go from just friends to boyfriends?


 In the darling 1989 film, When Harry Met Sally, stars Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan raised the important question: can men and women really just be friends? Is is possible for two members of the opposite sex to have a platonic relationship without wanting to sleep with one another? In the beginning of the movie, Billy Crystal’s character Harry says, “No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.” Even the women men initially aren't attracted to will eventually be attractive enough for a guy to want to sleep with them. Thus proving the notion that the only thing a man wants from a woman is sex. In the film, Harry turns out to be right. Because he eventually succumbs to his mannish nature and he and Sally have a midnight tryst. Their relationship soon crumbles and they realize they cannot be friends. Now that sex is in the equation everything has changed. But luckily from them by sleeping with one another, Harry and Sally open the door to their true feelings. They’re in love. In the end these two pals do get together as lovers. And in the final scene they divulge to us that they are now gleefully married. A real happy ending for two best friends.




         What do I have to say to all of this? Duh! There is no better partner in life than your friend! For those who aren’t lucky enough to find their soul mate while on their dorm room floor or while shopping at their local supermarket or maybe bumping each other across Ayala Avenue, the world of dating can be a complete and utter nightmare. When looking for a person you want to spend the rest of your life with you want someone who is compatible. Someone who gets you. Someone you can rely on. Many people say their partner is their best friend and I love that. Because relationships are about more than just sex (though that’s one of the major bonuses!). Relationships are about sharing pivotal moments in your life with someone you care about. They’re about having someone who can be there for you when things are bad. And when they’re good. You want someone you can be yourself with. Someone who won’t judge you. Someone who makes you a better person. Now do these things sounds like that traits you look for in someone else? Of course, it does. That’s because these are also all attributes of a good friend.

        Everyone wants their lover to be their best friend. So why not reverse it and make your bestfriend your lover? No one knows you better than a friend. Plus, you already know that the two of you get along great and that when you’re together you have fun. That’s what life should be about: enjoying things. Sure, you might find a partner who is sexy and one you have amazing chemistry with. Behind bedroom doors, it’s wild and steamy. But what happens when you leave the bedroom? Is this a person you can carry a conversation with? Is this a person you want to talk about your day to? About the promotion you didn’t get? Or about the fantastic meal you had at lunch? If so, then great! You are one of the lucky ones. But if not, is the sex really worth not being fulfilled in other ways? Probably not. Maybe if you’re in your twenties. But even that sets you up for a lifetime of chasing the wrong things. If you learn early what the important things are then you can use these lessons for the rest of your existence. 



28 LOVES AND COMMENTS:

  1. What shall I say? I married my best friend! :)

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  2. well, i'm one of those lucky one to have a friend and partner in life. =)sex is just part of married life at the end of the day it is still the love that will bind you.

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  3. Loving the one you adore doesn't necessary mean that you're going to have sex with him or her. If your intention to get married, well after the marriage it's the proper time to have sex with each other.

    I recall when we're yet friends with my present wife. Our friendship did last a little bit longer. It was just a matter of one or two months. What did I say to her: "Sorry to tell you that I'm not anymore your friend, but your lover!"

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  4. hahaha nakakarelate aq d2, ask my wife... luv dis post!

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  5. I have several guy bestfriends but the thought of making them lovers is just weird! Hahahaha :D My boyfriend and I are very good friends though :)

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  6. Sex is not the key to a lasting relationship. It's the commitment of both the male and the female to each other. Good note. Why not find your lover at your friendzone?

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  7. My best friend is also a man so even if we love each other, we cannot be more than friends. just kidding.

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  8. i'm no hypocrite... sex is one of the basic needs of men... lol. but you see, you can only enjoy the most of it... if you are comfortable with your partner... better yet, your friend... just love my wife... my friend... walang katulad... Yahweh bless.

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  9. that is so true. we can treat a partner as a friend but you should never interchange the two.

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  10. Friendship and love - both aspects when joined make a great relationship.

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  11. How about getting from friend to girlfriend? The friendzone is unbroken!

    Need proof? Look up friendzone Johnny in google!

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  12. This entry hit me! IN THE FACE! I'm actually hurrying things up and I just realized now that I shouldn't be hurrying stuff like this. I just wanna love and be loved. Im tired of being empty. But will really consider what you wrote in here. Thanks.

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  13. Very well said. Always reserve the best for the person you want to marry. Your partner in life should be your best friend, the one who will protect you, the one who will keep your secrets and the one who can make you happy. :)

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  14. i like th e idea of a bestfriend turn into lover/husband. I marry my stranger hubby,ours was a wirlwind romance.i just met him and all of a sudden we got married.Now ,i have a husbans and a best friend.

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  15. I think it's awkward that at first that you'll become lovers after being friends but it's okay on the other hand because you've known each other already... :)

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  16. hmmm ... uhm ... ahhh ... hahaha ... no no no ... ayaw ko ng post na to ... is this a sign? no ... my best friend of 27 years just gave me a smack ... NO! hahahaha

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  17. to all you guys who married your bestfriend, you are one of the luckiest pair in the world!

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  18. Iba ang best friend sa boyfriend. Can't be there. For me ang best friend companion lang as in para may kasama lang ako pero ang boyfriend compatibility like sa money, lifestyle, food, religion ang daming consideration eh. Bakit kelangan pagisahin ang roles. Sino na susumbungan mo if may away sa best friend or boy friend. Mahirap yun haha.

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  19. were not friends before but now we are treating friends now, we have differences but stil click

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  20. exactly... you'll be the luckiest girl if your married with your best friends, who knows almost everything about you. if not then, a good friend or friend friend goes the same way.

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  21. awts... things didn't work for me and my highschool bestfriend..

    i gave him up because he went to the seminary[he went out with some other girl]

    anyways, i moved on after 13 years of experiencing pain...

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  22. it is more difficult to find a true friend than a partner.

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  23. I should find a bestfriend ASAP! ha ha ha!

    http://travel-on-a-shoe-string.blogspot.com/

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  24. im lucky enough to have found my best friend in my boyfriend...

    the problem though for friends that want to become lovers is the possibility of losing the friendship if the relationship will not work... or worse, everything works but you are just not synched in the boudoir area... just my 2 cents on that piece about friends taking on a new level of relationship.


    Much support, Christia
    _______
    Savouring Didi’s Pizza from Christia's World

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  25. the challenge is how you will remain as the best of friends when you jump into a more intimate relationship - it should be easy to say so, but some find it a struggle - especially when they discover some weird things during the relationship - bottomline, acceptance is one of the key...

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  26. Indeed! Reverse it and make your friend your lover! Very very nice advice and insightful thoughts on relationships. Who wouldn't want a partner that's a best friend too! :D

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