Cruel Ranking of Luxury Brands, based on Chinese Classroom Culture

Dolce and Gabbana SS2018
Photo credit: Dolce and Gabbana SS2018


It’s back-to-school season again, and students everywhere are trying (and sometimes neglecting) to get good grades. Unlike in America, students in China (and many parts of Asia) are often assigned seats according to their academic performance, which gives everyone a visible hierarchy of success.

(Editor's Note: However, I always insist to seat in-front to make it look like I am listening attentively, thus my teachers always avoiding questions to all seated in-front, lol).



So it makes sense to create a pecking order of luxury brands in China using classroom culture as a metaphor. The fashion blogger Jiaobanbang draws similarities between the two and has just updated his unique chart from last year. By judging earnings, key events, and creative directors (the “tutors” of these brands), we can see just how much luxury brand rankings have shuffled since last year. So here is the blogger’s outlook on luxury brands in China for this coming semester (in Chinese):

Cruel Ranking of Luxury Brands, based on Chinese Classroom Culture
A short visual guide to explain luxury brands hierarchy in a classroom setting. Photo: Jiaobanbang/WeChat


The Straight-A students:

fashion, luxury fashion brands, luxury fashion in China
image @louisvitton Instagram

Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Hermès, Celine, Dior
This semester marks a close competition between the class’ straight-A students. Louis Vuitton (the top of this class) is under pressure to perform, and fellow classmates are wondering if calling up recent graduate Virgil Abloh would help. Meanwhile, Gucci (the most popular kid) aims to dethrone Louis Vuitton but is pretty stressed out since his revenue growth has slowed. Hermès (the poster child) badly want to ace his tech exam and is not above copying notes off his ‘little brother’ Shangxia on JD.com. And finally, keep an eye on Dior, who has excelled in her AP classes of haute couture and extra-curricular studies (mostly by stealing LV’s coach Kim Jones).




The Comeback kids:

fashion, luxury fashion brands, luxury fashion in China
image: @fendi Instagram

Fendi, Bottega Veneta
Fendi recently aced her publicity test while gaining a ton of logo exposure, so her grade shot up from mediocre to above average, but her friend Bottega Veneta is still trying to shrug off the “underperforming student” tag from last year. Aside from working with a new tutor, the fashion house is also cramming for Chinese 101 in order to connect with the post-00s, but will it work?


The Extraordinary Students:

fashion, luxury fashion brands, luxury fashion in China
Image: @chanelofficial Instagram

Chanel, Supreme
Chanel is known as an “A student,” but no one really knew how much potential she had. Fortunately, her tutor Karl Lagerfeld disclosed her grade book from last year not long ago, and it turns out she’s an A+ student after all. In stark contrast, the transfer student Supreme never dreamed he could thrive in the same classroom as this group of prestigious students, but his performance in an extra-curriculum project with LV won him a seat. Then The Carlyle Group adopted him and his teacher began to see his tremendous potential as an artist. Now, his logo is everywhere and he’s been assigned group projects with Rimowa and Tag Heuer.




The Teacher’s Pets:

fashion, luxury fashion brands, luxury fashion in China
image: @burberry Instagram

Burberry, Rimowa
Burberry achieved an exceptionally good grade last semester, and his newly appointed tutor, Riccardo Tisci, is giving this British boy a much-needed makeover. But look out for Rimowa, who LVMH took in as a gifted student that’s now working on group assignments with Supreme, Fendi, and Off-White.


The Flawless Girls:

fashion, luxury fashion brands, luxury fashion in China
image: @bulgariofficial Instagram

Bvlgari, Valentino
Bvlgari took the crown during Chinese Valentine’s Day with a string of high marks, but she is also LVMH’s spoiled princess who’s been hosting playhouses all over the world. This year she wants to learn Japanese, so she’s been paired with Koki, the daughter of legendary Japanese idol Kimura Takuya. Valentino is trying hard to fit in here, even revamping her name to VLAN in the hopes of becoming the poster child for the booming athleisure market.


The Problematic Student:

fashion, luxury fashion brands, luxury fashion in China
image: @Balenciaga Instagram

Balenciaga
Balenciaga is no longer an honors student because his style is too easily copied, and after a fight with his Chinese teacher, it looks like he’s in deep trouble. But his tutor, Demma Gvasalia, stated that everything is fine and asked the public not to doubt his skill or criticize his work. Ugh!



The Lost Child:

fashion, luxury fashion brands, luxury fashion in China
image: @prada Instagram

Prada
It’s hard to know whether Prada wants good grades or not. He came back to the classroom after fooling around in the stock market for a while, and now he might be too late to the game—all while his classmate and good friend Fendi makes a strong comeback.


The Underperforming Students:

fashion, luxury fashion brands, luxury fashion in China
image: @victoriassecret Instagram

Victoria’s Secret, Zara
Social Queen Victoria’s Secret loves to host parties, even if it means missing out on good grades, while transfer student Zara, who comes from a very wealthy family, is constantly copying homework off his classmates, with some even suing him over it. Fortunately, his rich dad is there to smooth things over.


Dolce and Gabbana SS2018, fashion, luxury fashion brands, luxury fashion in China
Photo credit: Dolce and Gabbana SS2018, with Geisha embroidery



So which student are you? I would love to know your comments below!



xoxo, Blair




42 LOVES AND COMMENTS:

  1. Hmm. I guess I could be the lost child. I was lost in math class most of the time. Or I could be a comeback kid. These are some interesting looks here!

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    1. Depends on my teacher, sometimes I prefer to sit on the last row near the door so I can immediately excuse myself. :D

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  2. What an interesting way to look at clothes. My boys would not like not being able to answer questions in class.

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    1. I remember, when I don't know the answer I will just stare my teacher blankly :D Works everytime.

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  3. What a fun comparison! I'm not much for fashion, but you made this really fun to read. Now you have me wondering, though. Do the good students get to sit in the front or the back?

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    1. Most good students like to sit in the front for some reasons. Mine is to avoid getting too much attention from my teachers. The front seats sometimes an indication that you are listening (even if you don't).

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  4. Never thought about it that way, such a great visual. Great way to categorize each designer brand.

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    1. Thank you Paulette! Here in Asia, we still apply the old ways in many aspects even in branding.

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  5. Wow, I mean literally just wow. I just love them. And I'm speechless.

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  6. While I think this was a really fun and unique way to show off the brands, I really never knew that they sat kids according to performance in school! It seems strange to me, but maybe since it isn't something I am used to.

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    1. That's true. In China some schools still follow the hierarchy students ranking. That's why education is very important. Having B-grade is not okay :D

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  7. The seating chart is a deep concept. Although thinking about it a little more, the back rows probably don't change much. lol

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    1. Hahaha, well this hierarchy is based on their performance in business. You are right, think it deeply Victoria's Secret only excels on parties, and nothing more.

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  8. I am the lost child. haha. Love the fun factor in the write up.

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  9. im that student that hides in the back and stares at the clock on the wall waiting for it to all be over lol.

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  10. Wow I had no idea seating arrangements in the classroom worked according to academic performance. I love how you incorporated this to high fashion ranking! I'd be Chanel, the extraordinary student haha.

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  11. I am not a student at all. when I was a student (a long time ago) I pretty much kept to myself.

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  12. Louis Vuitton the A student is my favorite, I have been a fan for many years now.

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    1. I agree, they still the A, no wonder many Asians love LV.

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  13. What an interesting way to rank luxury brands! I know almost nothing about any of these brands other than their names!

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  14. I guess I should be glad that we were sate in alphabetical order rather than our grade status. I probably would have been seated closer to the back, but still the middle. I certainly see how this would be a good challenge for fashion, though and it could be very fun!

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    Replies
    1. Oh dear you are lucky! Many Chinese schools follows strict ranking in class.

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  15. This is so interesting! I would have never thought to make this comparison nor did I know that the children in China have to seat in order of their grades. I imagine this makes things very competitive.

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    Replies
    1. That is true. And a tough competitive as well for Moms. Their past time conversation with fellow Moms are about their children and how they excel in school.

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  16. Woooaahhhh.... I'm the A category student - louisvuitton (top of this class). Love the way you describe brands :D

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  17. Im a mix between problematic and flawless student. I can also mix it up with Straight A and Comeback!

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  18. I love these comparisons. I would definitely be a mix between the lost child or the problematic student.

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  19. I've always been an A student but dear lord I do not make enough money to be decked out in LV. I've always adored Chanel's style. Everything she creates is so classic.

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    1. I'm also an A-student from grade school to college, but ironically never got my LV, not until I got my first 5-years of working hard, hahaha

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  20. I absolutely love the way these brands have represented things. It's great to see all the different perspectives.

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    1. Thank you Becca! Which one is sitting inside your closet?

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  21. It sounds like there is a lot of competition in many areas in China. I love all of the luxury brands for back to school.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, China's education is a tough competition.

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Editorial Note: Opinions expressed here are author’s alone, not those of any partner brands/company(s), beauty & lifestyle brands, airlines or hotel chain, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any of these entities, unless specified.